Star Wars: The Business on Cato Neimoidia
by nateoconnor97
Summary: You know that reference in Episode III when Obi-Wan says the business on Cato Neimoidia didn't count? This is what happened to Anakin and his Master, leading Obi-Wan to make that reference later.


Star Wars: The Business on Cato Neimoidia

I

"Anakin, we're dropping out of hyperspace. Anakin!"

The Padawan slid out from underneath his starfighter and stood, wiping hydraulic fluid on a rag. Beneath their feet, the ship lurched, and the streaks of stars returned to their pinpoints outside the hangar bay doors. The other battle cruisers had dropped out a few minutes before, and the streaks of green laser fire could already be seen in the distance, hitting the Separatist forces who opposed the two Jedi and the thousands of clone troopers with them.

"It's about time! Finally, I get to kick some droids' servos!"

"Remember the Code, Anakin. There is no emotion..."

"There is peace," Anakin finished with a sigh. "I just don't see why we have to be here."

"It is the will of the Jedi Council."

"No. Why do we have to be _here_?"

"Viceroy Nute Gunray has threatened to fund the actions of the Separatists. We need to get down there and find him. Are we clear?"

"But why do we..."

"Are we clear?"

"Ugh... Yes, Master."

"Good. Let's get going."

Obi Wan climbed the ramp of the LAAT, followed quickly by Anakin. The two Jedi warriors felt the gunship lift off and make its way to the invisible airlock force fields at the end of the hangar bay. Five minutes later, Master and Padawan were flying through the vast emptiness of space, watching their cruiser, Integrity, grow ever smaller as they neared the planetary atmosphere.

The Low Atmosphere Assault Transport dropped out of orbit to the sounds of rising air and anti aircraft cannons. The ship was rocked as explosion after explosion missed. Anakin nearly lost his balance as the pilot threw the "Lartie" into evasive maneuvers, but he managed to grab hold of the cargo net above his head. The hold was empty except for the two Jedi, as they were the only ones assigned to this transport, excepting the pilot, co-pilot, and two gunners stuffed into their plexiglass bubble turrets.

"So Master, we have to get into Gunray's palace, capture him, then escape with the target while also protecting ourselves from automated and living security?"

"Don't worry, Anakin. It'll be easier than it sounds. And yes."

"Oh, I'm not worried, Master. In fact, it sounds like fun."

"Indeed. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."

Both men laugh, that is, until a warning siren blares from the cockpit. The clone pilots performed every evasive maneuver they could as their passengers tumbled into the heavy durasteel doors.

Obi-Wan picked himself up and poked his head into the cockpit.

"What have we got?"

"Hailfire droids on the ground had a lock on us."

Just then, a light on the console lit up, and the siren sounded again. The bearded man reached over and touched the computer screen, switching the image to one of 3 missiles. The projectiles disappeared for a moment behind a cloud, then reappeared with an animated diagram of a green LAAT and a red target indicator. Below that, a number counted down from 1000, and the target moved with the number. The 800 meter mark flashed past, followed by 700 and 600. At 500 meters, the entire image turned red, and the clones began evading. No move they made, though, could break the lock the missiles had on them. 400 and 300 passed by in less than 7 seconds, and the twin doors of the gunship opened at 200 meters.

Anakin joined his Master, clinging to the cargo nets.

"Master, is everything alright?"

"No Anakin. No time. Just follow my lead."

The older Jedi went to the opening and dove out, into the sky. Anakin went to the door, but hesitated. He looked back to the pilots. One of the yellow suited troopers had unbuckled from his seat, and was watching the younger Learner. He gave a small salute, and Anakin jumped.

Below him, Anakin Skywalker could see his Master spread his arms and legs in order to slow his fall, so he did the same. Anakin saw a rocket hit the troop transport, causing it to disintegrate. Superheated debris fell past, including the bodies of the four crew members, two still inside their protective bubbles.

The shattered pieces of the gunship vanished behind the mountains, and the Jedi continued to descend, their brown robes whipping against their arms, legs, and chests. Anakin hit the ground first, using the Force to cushion his fall. Kenobi came next, touching down just off to Anakin's right.

They'd landed in the fields of some wealthy Neimoidian, whose service droids were picking fruits and vegetables for whatever the big-eyed alien was having for the evening meal. In the distance, the sun shined on numerous security droids, and was reflected off the plexiglass windows of the owner's palace.

Anakin trumped on ahead of Obi-Wan, walking through the vegetation of the farm.

Far away, on the horizon, the towers of the Viceroy's fortress rose above the blue-green waters of Cato Neimoidia. A loud screech above, and a flock of Kreehawks roosted in the forest beyond the mansion.

II

In the Neimoidian night, Obi-Wan and Anakin move ever closer to the citadel of the Viceroy.

"How much farther could it possibly be, Master?"

"Patience, Anakin. There'll be plenty of droids for you to destroy when we get there."

They had been in the forests all night, lush and dense and quiet. In the canopy above, exotic wildlife peered down at them with glowing eyes, creatures like the reveled black aivian, Kreehawk.

Anakin looked at these wondrous birds, then said to his Master, "If only we could catch one. One of those eyes can sell for thousands of credits!"

"That's all well and good, but you know you swore a life of poverty. Money only leads to greed, greed to envy, envy to hate. Hate takes you to the Dark Side. And that is a fate worse than death."

"Yes. I know Master."

Anakin seemed a bit disappointed, but perked up when he saw how close they had come to their destination.

The sky to the east brightened to a pale gray during their hike through the thick undergrowth, the waters of the sea still a deep dark teal color.

The high arches and domed corridors were still engulfed in shadow, but B1 Battle Droids could be seen patrolling the halls through the wide Plexiglas viewports.

The sky had already turned to red and pink by the time Kenobi and Skywalker came to the doors of the fortress of the Viceroy.

"Those droids are everywhere! We can't get in!"

"Worry not, Anakin. Where there's a will, there's a way. And I have a plan. Listen up."

III

_I can't believe I'm doing this_... _This is insane_, Obi-Wan thought to himself. _How do I always get the tough parts of these things_?

The light-brown-robed Jedi strolled up the roadway that led directly to the tall black doors, along with the dozen or so robots that guarded the way.

_Calm yourself_... _You've got this_...

"Command=halt. Inquiry=What is your business here?"

"I have an appointment with the Viceroy. Let me pass."

"Inquiry=You are the representative from the Techno Union? Command=Relinquish any and all weapons."

"Indeed."

Obi-Wan's lightsaber leapt into his grasp, igniting with the touch of a button. With the coordination of a true Jedi, he sliced the SB1 in two, then used the Force to send the debris hurtling through the air and into two more droids. Then, Anakin joined the brawl, and in his Gungan-like Padawan clumsiness, he was able to turn a droid into nothing more than scrap metal. The blaster bolts bounced off the Jedi weapons and into the sky, ground, or source.

With the destruction of three more Super Battle Droids, the artificial intelligence programmed into the droid brains switched the metal soldiers into firing wrist rockets.

Helpless, the two Jedi paused, if only to collect their thoughts.

"I don't suppose your plan included anything about this, Master?"

"Just follow my lead, Anakin."

"Surrender Jedi! You are no match for my battle droids."

Viceroy Gunray appeared behind his metallic guards, and more Super Battle Droids came marching down the lavishly decorated corridor behind him.

"Gunray," Anakin said. "For crimes committed against the Galactic Republic, you are under arrest. You will come with us to Coruscant where you will be tried by the Senate."

The greenish Neimoidan addressed the pair of lightsaber-wielding peacekeepers.

"I think not, Jedi scum!"

And with that, Nute Gunray pressed a button on the wrist-mounted control panel he wore, and from behind him came the distinctive rolling sound of multiple droidekas.

The shielded attack robots deployed their legs and arms and aimed the quadruple blaster cannons at Skywalker and Kenobi.

"Put your hands up, Anakin."

"But, Master..."

"Do it."

The Padawan did as he was told, slowly and silently clipping his lightsaber to his belt. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan tried to negotiate their way out of this mess.

"You WILL release us."

"I will release you."

"You WILL come with us to the Senate."

"I will come with you to the Senate."

_This seems a bit too easy_, Anakin thought.

The gray skinned alien began to slowly walk towards the pair of Jedi, the suddenly stopped. He gave his droids another order.

"Blast them!"

Both the Master and the Padawan leapt high into the air, igniting their lightsabers.

While every battle droid opened fire on the Jedi, the laser beams either streaking past the targets or being deflected off the two blue plasma blades. An occasional beam of superheated Tibanna gas was sent back to its origin point, sending the droids into wild spins before they fell.

Both Master and Padawan touched ground behind the mechanical soldiers, between them and the palace gate.

"Anakin, we have to do something about those droidekas!"

"Don't worry, Master. I always have a plan."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"Come on, Master, follow me!"

The younger laser-sword wielding man charged into the elaborate hovel, in too much of a hurry to wipe his muddy feet before setting foot on the plush carpet. The droids behind them continued to fire, creating black scorch marks on the walls where blaster bolts failed to hit their targets. Obi-Wan followed Anakin up a large, spiralling staircase that granted them access to the upper levels of Gunray's expansive home.

IV

"Face it, Anakin. You're lost."

"Uh," he said, deflecting more of the deadly weapon fire away from him, "I wouldn't call it lost so much as taking a scenic route."

They'd been wandering around the wealthy Neimoidan's halls, searching for the war criminal while also dodging the numerous droid patrols that followed the preprogrammed paths through the corridors. However, the commando droids that had been dispatched to deal with the intruders had been moving silently, making it harder for them to be detected.

One of the droids fired at Anakin, but the round was deflected back into the artificial intelligence center of the robot, taking off its entire head. Unbeknownst to Anakin and Obi-Wan, deep in the bowels of the palace, Nute Gunray pressed a big red button on the arm of his high-backed chair.

Within seconds, the men were being flanked by a squadron of droidekas. Standing back to back in the wide passage, the two men had a chance of formulating a new plan.

"Anakin, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Depends. Unless you're thinking of using the Falling Leaf, followed by a quick escape, then no."

"I was going to go with changing our combat styles to Master Windu's Vaapad style, but I like your idea better."

"On three. One."

The commando droids moved ever closer, not firing at the still Jedi.

"Two."

Now all of the robot soldiers were within a 3 meter circle around the two men.

"Three."

In unison, both Anakin and Obi-Wan left the soft floor, trading it instead for the open space of air under the high ceilings.

As if watching one man against a mirror, the pair launched themselves downwards, hurtling toward the droids below. With a single cut, Anakin disabled the entire group of commandos. His mentor, however, was having tougher luck in his dealings with the shielded droids.

"Anakin, a little help please?"

"Just hold on, Master."

Amplifying a jump with the power of the Force, the more reckless Padawan attacked the droidekas from behind. He was too late though, as Obi-Wan had taken a blaster shot to his knee.

Knowing that Anakin wouldn't be able to hold his ground against the firepower, the Jedi Master dragged himself behind an expensive-looking vase and reached into his utility belt's second pocket to the right. He pulled out the small gray ball, and rolled it towards the enemy.

Blue arcs of electricity shot out of the ball, rendering the remaining droids useless. Going to his wounded Master, Anakin asked if he could walk.

"I am unsure. But we need to get to the hangar and steal a shuttle so we can contact the Council that the mission was a failure."

"That's all well and good, but how do you propose we get there without being seen by another patrol?"

Pointing up at the dull gray square of durasteel in the ceiling, Anakin instantly understood.

_The ventilation shafts_!

Removing the thin grate from the ceiling using the Force, Anakin jumped up into the air ducts.

Obi-Wan tossed a couple of ion grenades at the droidekas, then smashed their memory cores to the point where they could no longer be read. As soon as that was done, he followed the same path set by his Padawan.

"Well, Master. Looks like I've just saved your life for the ninth time."

"No Anakin. This one won't count."

"Why not?"

"Well, when we jumped out of the LAAT, I saved your life by not explaining to you the situation. That's one for me. Then, the confrontation with Gunray and his droids at the gate, with the mind trick? That's two for me. You came up with a plan to get rid of those droidekas at the gate: two for me, one for you. When I was wounded, you distracted the destroyers and allowed me to throw an EMP grenade. Now the count is two and two."

"How do you account for the ventilation idea?"

"It saves both of our lives, thus canceling out the next tally, and now that we're even, can we agree that this whole excursion won't count?"

"Agreed."

"Good," he said, pulling a holdout display from his robe pocket.

"According to this diagram of the palace," he pointed, "the main hangar is that way."

"Then why are we waiting around here, Master? Let's get going!"

The young Jedi took off in the direction his Master had pointed, and Obi-Wan followed close behind.

V

"Anakin, I'm going down there to get those battle droids away from that shuttle. You're going to need to get inside the ship as quickly as possible, then we'll be on our way back to Coruscant."

Scowling, Anakin questioned why his Master planned to commit suicide by drawing the attention of the two-hundred-or-so battle droids that were lined in orderly rows around their escape vehicle.

"Anakin, do you remember the pod race on Tatooine when you were only nine?"

"Of course. Qui-Gon promised me that he'd take me to the Jedi Temple if I won that race for Watto. It was a bet they had."

"I have a confession to make, on Qui-Gon's behalf, of course. That bet, they decided with a throw of a die. The die had two colors, red and blue. The bet was that, if you won, and the die landed on blue, we would free you. But if you won, and the red side showed, we would free your mother."

"Why are you telling me this, Master?"

"Because Qui-Gon cheated. The die was to land in Watto's favor. Qui-Gon used the Force to manipulate the throw, so that we would be able to free you."

"I still don't understand your thinking in this situation, Master."

"There's only one of me, and all those droids, correct?"

Anakin silently nodded his head, the long, unkempt strands of hair cascading over his forehead into his eyes.

"There is always a way to tip the scales, to balance the odds, to outsmart, outrun, and outfight your enemy, if necessary."

"I see. What's your plan?"

"Those fuel tasks there," pointing through the grate to behind the shuttle.

"I plan to move those close enough to the droids that, when they explode, the droids will have no choice but to evacuate the hangar."

"And, if all else fails, we can always just fight our way through, right Master?"

"Anakin, what you lack in experience, is not made up by your brains. We would never get through that without assistance."

"Then let's call the Integrity for backup. Some clones would be useful right now."

"Anakin, I don't think a single gunship would help much: don't you see the anti-aircraft guns?"

"Yes, Master. But now I know of a way to catch the droids' attention, AND a way to get a dropship to pick us up. I say we capture those turret emplacements, _then_ call for help."

"Good thinking, Anakin. You move on the left gun, and I'll try to get control of the right one. When you get into position, wait for my signal."

"Yes, Master."

VI

_What are you waiting for Obi-Wan_? _We need to get outta here_.

Just as soon as Anakin had finished his thought, his Master's signal came, in the form of a small crate of tools being knocked from a shelf.

All of the robotic soldiers turned towards the fallen box, and the scattered wrenches, plasma torches and spare sheets of durasteel. With a quick flash of movement, Obi-Wan sped his way across the narrow catwalk that lead to the AA gun. Anakin ran directly across from him the whole way.

At the end of the causeway, Anakin leapt over the edge, falling down, towards the turret gun crew. The sound of his landing on the durasteel grating was not picked up by the droids' sensors, and Anakin quickly ducked behind a stack of gun shells piled on the firing platform.

Looking over to his Master, Anakin waited until the older Jedi gave a short nod.

Then he ignited his blue laser sword and, with just a few swift wrist movements, has reduced the three droid crew to piles of smoking scrap.

Obi-Wan had done the same, and with all six droids dismantled, the Jedi cranked the controls until the guns faced the rows upon rows of battle droids.

Anakin loaded an energy canister into the turret.

A small extension of Obi-Wan's finger served as a kind of signal, and the spot where the small army of robot soldiers once stood was now dominated by a pair of still-smoking craters.

The blasts had scorched the surrounding durasteel, and a large fragment of the floor had nearly torn the port landing arm right off.

Blaster bolts began to fly towards the men. They originated from the open hangar access door, where many of the Viceroy's security droids had gathered.

"Go, Anakin! I'll buy you some time to get the engines warmed up!"

The Padawan hit the control panel for the boarding ramp, and as the door opened, Anakin ducked inside to avoid being caught off his guard by a lucky droid's shot.

Anakin pressed the buttons to initiate the takeoff sequence, and just about when the Separatist shuttle had lifted to the ceiling, the landing arms folded in, designated by a loud clang from below the cockpit.

_Obi-Wan_! _I've got to help him_! _But this hangar is too narrow to turn this shuttle around_.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin nearly yelled into his comlink, "we've gotta get going!"

"I know, Anakin. Just hold her at the end of the catwalk, by the turret! And open the door when I get close!"

"Yes, Master."

VII

The ship was in position, and Obi-Wan was getting sick of blocking the deadly plasma beams that flew at him from nearly every angle.

Using the Force, Kenobi leapt to the catwalk, and sprinted to make sure he and his Padawan could escape.

The blaster bolts followed him, but just as the shuttle door closed behind him, Obi-Wan knew one of the droids' shots must have hit the pile of energy canisters next to the turret. The shuttle was rocked by the huge explosion, and Anakin fought to keep control.

"Well, Master. That was a close one. And, it looks like I'm one ahead again."

"Just set a course for the Integrity. And, Anakin, I came up with the escape plan. I saved my own life."

"Rendezvous with the Integrity in 10 minutes, Master."

VIII

"I must say, even though we failed to capture Gunray, you did exceptionally well, Obi-Wan. As did you, Padawan Skywalker."

"Thank you, Master Windu. I'm quite sure we will get another chance at the Viceroy."

"We can only hope. Once the leading members of the Separatist movement are in the Republic's hands, this war will be one step closer to being over."

"Master Windu. Permission to return to my quarters for a time."

"That's not my call to make, Anakin."

The mahogany skinned Jedi shifted his gaze to his colleague.

"I suppose, Anakin, that you've earned a little rest."

"Thank you, Masters."

And with that, the Padawan makes his exit, leaving the pair of Masters on the Bridge of the cruiser Integrity, to discuss their next move.

And now that you know about the "...business on Cato Neimoidia..." that "...doesn't, doesn't count..." that is mentioned in _Revenge of the Sith_, please comment below, or favorite, or something else so I can tell what you think about the story. This is really helpful for me. And, in the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."


End file.
